Yesterday, Microsoft announced that they would be releasing a Pizza Hut app for the Xbox 360 that would allow you to order some of that sweet pizza pie right through Xbox Live, finally answering the calls of absolutely no one.
It’s a thinly-veiled marketing tool at best, but Pizza Hut is currently offering 15% off of orders made through the 360. I’m cheap and often hungry. “Screw it,” I said. I initiated the download.
After the installation, I was greeted with two pages of terms and conditions; this is some heavy shit. I agreed and linked my PizzaHut.com account (I know, be quiet). When I finished clumsily putting together my order with a goddamn Xbox 360 controller, I got to the checkout page. There I realized that you can only order with cash or a credit card that you’ve stored on Pizza Hut’s website — you can’t input your information through the Xbox. My information isn’t stored because I’m a relatively well-adjusted human being and never in such dire need of pie that I can’t spare the 20 seconds to input it.
Anyway, I rolled my eyes and opened up my laptop, logged in, and stored the information. Nearly fifteen minutes have passed at this point and I was no closer to getting a pizza. I double-checked my address and nearest Pizza Hut, then went back to my Xbox. Once everything was as it should, I hit the order button.
Error. No location ID found. What?
“This is going about as well as I expected,” I thought (and Tweeted). I double-checked everything in the app, and triple-checked the website.
Error. No location ID found.
I’m not going to pretend that this was a process that I took seriously going in, but after over 20 fruitless minutes I was getting flustered and was now determined to follow it through. So I did the only sensible thing I could think of: I asked the Major.
It should be pretty clear that I had pretty much given up on ordering pizza through my game console, but I CC’d Xbox Support because I was curious to see if they had any legitimate solution to a problem that, by all accounts, shouldn’t even exist in the first place.
I heard back from one of the Xbox Support accounts within a few minutes. “It looks like the delivery might not be available in your area,” KE told me. I found that strange, because the Pizza Hut offered up by both the website and Xbox app is the one I’ve ordered from in the past.
I told this to KE, who served up a peculiar solution:
Call the store! Amazing.
Between initiating the app download and talking to Xbox Support on Twitter, 58 minutes had elapsed. I had reached my threshold.
I still haven’t eaten anything.