The Daily Five: Gaming’s Worst Wingmen

August 6, 2013 | By | 1 Comment

It’s never easy going at things solo, especially when that involves hitting up a bar to troll for women (let’s be honest, it’s trolling). However, if you’re going to be successful, it never hurts to have a great wingman by your side to help smooth things out and move them along at a productive pace. Unfortunately not everyone is cut out for that gig and sadly, it could all end in a disaster if you choose the wrong guy. We’ve gone through gaming and picked out five guys that we think would make ridiculously bad wingmen.

If you can think of any others, let us know below.

Yosuke Hanamura

Yosuke is from a nice little town called Inaba where his father owns the local Junes. Sadly for Yosuke, he’s not very smooth with the ladies, as he always tries way too hard to get in good with them. Honestly, if he toned it back a bit, he’d probably make for a solid wingman, but as it stands, he’s definitely one of the last guys you want coming to the bar with you. That’s without mentioning the fact that he tries to oversell things as well.


Kratos pretty much takes whatever he wants and if he can’t have it, he kills it. It’s not too surprising why Kratos would make for a seriously terrible wingman. I have a sneaking suspicion that he would either leave you out in the cold or would just pretty much slaughter everyone inside the bar. It’s a huge risk to have him by your side and that’s without taking into account the fact that he’s pretty much a God. Have you seen this guy’s body? You’re probably going to look pretty feeble standing next to him.

Enrique (Skies of Arcadia)

If you’re going to play the bar scene, you need to be quick witted and have some questionable morals. Let’s be honest, if you’re looking for a one night stand, you’re probably not the guy that’s going to call the next day. Enrique is a terrible wingman for a very simple reason: His morale compass isn’t going to budge. If you’re going to be a complete tool, Enrique isn’t going to stand by and watch it happen. He’s either going to speak up or just sabotage your game. It’s best to leave him at home.

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  • boc

    shittiest article ever